with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize