You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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