If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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