she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
