Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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