Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize