Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
