We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize