you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
