Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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