Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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