Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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