I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
