man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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