We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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