How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
