We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
