I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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