Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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