if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
