woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
