On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
