love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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