Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
