we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
