I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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