the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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