Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I believe in your delicious
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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