Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he told me I talked like a deaf person
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
