I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
