the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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