But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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