exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
