you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
How's work?
Spinning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
