dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
