oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize