just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
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