Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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