girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
