found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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