I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
