Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
