I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
