You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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