im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
