Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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