I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize