so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
