I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
