somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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