Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize