I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
