Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
