She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
