Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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