i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
