I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize