everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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