if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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