My brain says no but my pants say off.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
