Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
