My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
