i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
