Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
