Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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