Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
there's paper in my vomit.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
