Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
