The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm too high and old for this...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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