yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
