I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
