508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
